I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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