using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
