So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
