His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize
