We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
