I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Randomize
