Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
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She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
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They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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