I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Randomize
