is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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