the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I got inside last night via doggy door
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
