My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize