dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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