just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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