the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I can't turn off my feet"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
