you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
