he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
