im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
