she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
