Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
