He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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