Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
