i just had sex bonerless
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
