Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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