just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
