butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
