Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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