Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
