I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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