So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
