I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
