Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
