How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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