I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
