Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
