I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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