The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
