was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize