So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
