K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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