It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
50% drunk capacity currently
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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