i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
