ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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