Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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