"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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