I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
