someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
there was a trapeze. enough said
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
