Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Me too!

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  (503): Me too! http://tfl.nu/uciw
  Replies (34) Good night (796) Bad night (1348)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  He had some BAD nuttage

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Nuttage?

  (334): View more from Alabama

  It's like cleavage......... but different

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  (334): He had some BAD nuttage (334): Nuttage? (334): It's like cleavage......... but different http://tfl.nu/35mx
  Replies (12) Good night (686) Bad night (2708)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.

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  (763): Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault. http://tfl.nu/lznh
  Replies (115) Good night (6624) Bad night (921)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.

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  (203): It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton. http://tfl.nu/85qb
  Replies (30) Good night (1084) Bad night (3761)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen

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  (864): I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen http://tfl.nu/n18y
  Replies (34) Good night (6997) Bad night (1589)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level

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  (256): just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level http://tfl.nu/5gsk
  Replies (8) Good night (3032) Bad night (1116)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!

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  (432): There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses! http://tfl.nu/cuv6
  Replies (9) Good night (2454) Bad night (1062)
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  (631): View more from New York

  using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.

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  (631): using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here. http://tfl.nu/lsdl
  Replies (5) Good night (2053) Bad night (784)
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  (585): View more from New York

  ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.

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  (585): ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity. http://tfl.nu/72qs
  Replies (17) Good night (3150) Bad night (1118)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.

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  (506): I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow. http://tfl.nu/72sd
  Replies (3) Good night (536) Bad night (932)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there

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  (612): Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there http://tfl.nu/59ui
  Replies (5) Good night (1047) Bad night (485)
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  (619): View more from California

  She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.

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  (619): She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it. http://tfl.nu/d8em
  Replies (1) Good night (1036) Bad night (346)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad

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  (413): Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad http://tfl.nu/6sd1
  Replies (1) Good night (455) Bad night (638)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.

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  (416): Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch. http://tfl.nu/1d55
  Replies (2) Good night (528) Bad night (292)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.

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  (416): We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love. http://tfl.nu/ly59
  Replies (2) Good night (431) Bad night (258)

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