broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?