Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think a kid would responsible me up
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
