Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
