i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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