I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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