Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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