next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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