I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
