ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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