Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
