just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
