were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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