Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
