sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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