come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
