I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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