The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Randomize
