I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
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i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
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but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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