thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
